1:2 Why a new manual for the War on Evil is needed

It has recently been brought to our attention that the people on earth are once again faced with a great threat which has many features similar to those we fought against. Of course this has not been the first menace since our time, but the way in which you have reacted by calling it a great ‘War upon Terror’ indicates that it is very serious indeed. As the parallels between the world of contemporary terrorist activity and the world we investigated are so close, we felt that our humble services might again be of use to the powers in the world.

We understand that some of you are devout Christians and that all of you have proclaimed yourselves as Crusaders on behalf of western civilization. We hear that you have announced a ‘War Against Terrorism’ and, like us, defined an ‘Empire of Evil’, or ‘Axis of Evil’, which you will destroy. You have identified some of the central Evil Ones, people with names like Osama bin-Laden (the name of an infidel if ever we heard one). We know that you have already been actively destroying parts of his coven organization in many countries in the Middle East and elsewhere.

We do praise and thank God for your awareness and courage and feel that you have taken some good first steps. On the other hand we do not think that you have yet produced a coherent outline of your general goals, a ‘mission statement’, as we believe it is appropriately called nowadays.

So we would like to help draft such a statement from our extensive experience. For you really must be very forceful and clear in your goals, even if you do not let your often misguided and weak-spirited populace know what you have in your minds. To protect against this latest danger, we are writing to you privately and secretly and warn you not to let this Manual slip into the hands of your enemies who will make it widely known and hence weaken your efforts.

In the absence of a comprehensive Manual on how to discover and destroy the Axis of Evil, your political and legal procedures seem rather unsystematic and contradictory. Furthermore, and this is where we would like to broaden the scope of our original work, there does not seem to be an integrated approach between the three avenging arms of your attack.

The fight against Evil has to be conducted on a number of levels at the same time. You must create a political hammer, that is a political system which is honed and fine tuned to make it possible to act swiftly and decisively. We shall try to explain how this can be done. You will need to overhaul the legal system. And you will need to integrate these with a military system that is even more forceful than the one you have and can act against evil wherever it appears. We shall, in three parts of our work, try to provide you with each of these three hammers.

In the political, legal and military strategies you need to state the rules of engagement more clearly. As we explain these to you, you may at times feel a certain revulsion at what may seem a rather brutal and down-to-earth set of procedures to uncover and destroy your enemies. Yet, remember that you must have available new methods for a new situation. If innocent people suffer, you must always remember that the innocent Christ himself suffered on the Cross for our salvation.

The task ahead of you does not end here. You will also need to instil a new morality in your population. Many have become corrupted, lazy and godless. They need to be morally re-armed for the crusade you are fighting. Likewise you need to improve your bureaucratic control over your citizens. You need to know their every thought and action. And you need to control their hearts and minds by educating them, by re-shaping their culture, so that they stay, as people say nowadays, ‘on message’. We shall provide chapters of our Manual to help you with all of this.